Empathy in the Crosshairs

The #1 Bestselling non-fiction paperback for the last few weeks was On Tyranny by Timothy Snyder. In second place was Bessel van der Kolk’s classic book on trauma, The Body Keeps the Score. What does that tell you? It tells me that Americans want to know how to stand up to authoritarianism, and at the same time, are feeling traumatized.

No surprise, given what the principal architect of Project 2025 said, after he was given the keys and passwords to the federal Office of Personnel Management (which is like the fox guarding the henhouse, but amplified 100,000 times): “we want the bureaucrats to be traumatically affected.” How’s that for inspiring leadership?

This week, the new head of the Department of Health & Human Services cut 10,000 jobs and eliminated dozens of programs, including safety net stalwarts Head Start and Meals on Wheels, as well as HIV prevention, Alzheimer’s research, and the Suicide Crisis Hotline. Many of those who lost their jobs found out when they tried to badge in and couldn’t.

Then there’s the man in black who appears to be in charge – you know, the chainsaw-brandishing guy who claims Social Security is a Ponzi scheme – and who has said “empathy is the fundamental  weakness of Western civilization.” Our government has been taken over by a band of sociopaths! And I mean that in the most accurate clinical sense. 

As a mental health expert, I know how dangerous it is to have sociopaths in charge. With empathy in the crosshairs, the most vulnerable members of our society – children, the elderly, people with disabilities and special needs – are the first to lose essential services. Next are all of the hard-working, dedicated public servants, from national park rangers to school nurses. All of us who are compassionate and have built our lives around being helpers are now regarded as weak, irrational, and out of touch with reality.

Earlier this week I heard a discussion on the radio about empathy, and realized that some  people don’t actually know what it is. At least they’re using the word incorrectly, equating it with “getting all emotional,” and making decisions based on emotions rather than logic, as in “people with empathy want to open the borders to everyone without limits.” This is not true, in fact, being empathetic better informs sound and rational decision-making.

Fundamentally, empathy is being able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, to sense or imagine what their life is like, and to see things from their perspective. Dictionary.com gives this definition: “the psychological identification with or vicarious experiencing of the emotions, thoughts, or attitudes of another,” and offers this sentence: Having faced many of the same challenges, Nyala has empathy for immigrants and what it feels like to go through those challenges.

Some people confuse empathy with sympathy, but here’s the key difference: having empathy for others means feeling their pain, while having sympathy means feeling sorry for them. With empathy, you’re on equal footing, whereas sympathy is looking down on others.

Going back to my statement representing the current administration as “a band of sociopaths,” I’d like to clarify that I’m not just name-calling people whose actions I disagree with, and explain why I believe it’s an accurate description.

Let’s start with what Dictionary.com says. It defines “sociopath” as “a person with a psychopathic personality whose behavior is antisocial, often criminal, and who lacks a sense of moral responsibility or social conscience.” One of the example sentences it offers is: After he dropped out of the race in August, Kennedy endorsed Trump, a man he had previously labeled a likely “sociopath.” (Talk about the pot calling the kettle black! Or as my sister would say, takes one to know one!)

Let’s unpack that definition a bit. First, what is a “psychopathic personality”? And what’s the difference between a psychopath and a sociopath, which many people use interchangeably to describe several members of the administration?

Turning to the DSM-5, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, used by mental health professionals everywhere, it may surprise you to know there is no “psychopathic personality disorder,” nor “sociopathic personality disorder.” What we find instead is that psychopathy and sociopathy are mentioned multiple times in the descriptions of both “antisocial personality disorder” and “narcissistic personality disorder.”

For example: “The essential feature of antisocial personality disorder is a pervasive pattern of disregard for, and violation of, the rights of others,” (p 659), while “The essential feature of a narcissistic personality disorder is a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and lack of empathy” (p 670). We read that “Lack of empathy, inflated self-appraisal, and superficial charm are features that have been commonly included in traditional conceptions of psychopathy” (p 660), and furthermore, “Individuals with antisocial personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder share a tendency to be tough-minded, glib, superficial, exploitative, and lack empathy” (p 662).  

Notice that there’s a lot of overlap here, and that “lack of empathy” is a core feature of both personality disorders. Which brings us back to why I believe empathy is “in the crosshairs” of this administration. Because they lack the capacity to put themselves in another’s shoes, or to see another person’s needs as valid, it is easy for them to exploit others for their own needs. Empathy is equivalent to having a moral or social conscience, which narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths all lack. Understanding this makes their actions comprehensible, although reprehensible.

When you can put yourself in someone else’s shoes, and understand their point of view, it allows you to build respect and trust, which can lead to collaboration and creative problem-solving, to finding solutions that benefit all rather than only one individual or group. This is an essential feature of a civilized and democratic society. So no, Elon, empathy is not our greatest weakness. Empathy is actually our superpower!