Did the Election Kill Our Hopes and Dreams for a Better World?

“Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.” Desmond Tutu

Well, I was hoping to retire in 2025, but after the election, it looks like my services are needed more than ever, and may be for years to come. So this is my first post in a long time, but it won’t be the last.

These are challenging times. The emotions people have described to me run the gamut, including afraid, angry, anxious, despairing, disillusioned, grieving, heartbroken, and sad. I tell them, these are all normal reactions to an abnormal set of circumstances, and it is entirely appropriate to feel like mourning, or crawling under the covers, or seeking a way to numb yourself. If you are having thoughts of harming yourself or others, however, it is imperative that you let your therapist or me know right away.

It is also a very strange time. Many of us are feeling like we’re at a funeral, or sitting shiva, while on the other side of the street, people are shouting for joy and turning cartwheels. It feels surreal. It’s hard to be on social media right now, let alone out in the world. You may not feel safe, and you may in reality no longer be safe, if you’re a member of one of the groups that the incoming administration despises.

You may be feeling alone right now. It’s as if the majority of the country has turned in a totally different direction than the one you had believed we were all heading toward. And maybe your friends, the ones who believe in what you believe in, are too distraught to even talk about it. But you’re not alone, I assure you. There are millions of Americans who still believe that a kinder, more tolerant, more equitable and more socially just world is possible.

I am not an economist, historian, or political analyst, so I’m not going to try to explain what happened, or why. I intend to stay in my lane here, by speaking from both personal and professional experience about pathological narcissism and its toxic effects. In my family of origin, I was the one who first confronted mistreatment, and called out the lies and distortions of reality, and for that I was scapegoated. So I have always supported the victims of bullying behavior, and I learned at an early age to judge people’s character by their actions, not their empty promises.

I am a psychotherapist by training, a social worker by education, and a lifelong observer of people, so I’ve learned a lot about human nature, both its positive or “prosocial” side, which I believe is our true nature, as well as its dark, antisocial side. I’m not religious, but have come to believe in the existence of evil.

And while I’m not a Buddhist, I am a student of Buddhism, which refers to those darker impulses of human nature as “greed, hatred and delusion.” So I will say that it looks like greed, hatred and delusion have won this time, vanquishing the benevolent forces of generosity, kindness, and tolerance of differences. But if they’ve won the battle, I refuse to believe they’ve won the war, because there are simply too many of us on the other side.

So if you’re having a hard time coping right now, if your anger or fear or sorrow or despair are getting the best of you, please, please, please reach out. I am here and I want to help, whether to take you on as a psychotherapy patient, or as a member of one of my mindfulness groups, or by finding another therapist or support group for you. Together we can help you get grounded, find your voice and inner strength, and perhaps then figure out what role, if any, you want to play in what I’m going to call “the resistance movement.”

Thank you for reading – may you be safe and free from harm.

As another astute observer of human behavior once said, this wannabe dictator’s ideology is “purposeful, vindictive chaos,” and “it is going to take relentless stamina, vigilance, and every institutional check and balance this great country can muster” to stop his destruction. “No one action will be adequate, all actions will be necessary.” (Jon Stewart on the Stephen Colbert show, 1/31/17)